martedì 5 ottobre 2010

FUCKERS HANDS OFF FROM MY FUCKIN DRIVING LICENSE!

Wtf i did so many accident and police cought me so many times that i can't remember that all anyway i'll start telling that i've my driving license since 3 years and half.
You might be saying that maybe i'm exaggerate or that maybe i'm a shit like driver well i've to say no at all and i don't give a fuck about bragging.
I just know that u wont belive to what u're going to read but unluckly for me it's totally true.
Last poin to say first to start is that 60% of my accidents was with Kevorkian on board.

Ok let's go.

MY FIRST FUCKIN CAR WAS A TWINGO!

Yeah i had a fuckin old twingo and that was rlly cool it was usefull to fuck and i did it there so many times that the seats has become white and ppl hated to sit there ehehehe.
This was a particoular one twingo couse had an engine fuckin wont to pull.
We did a video too where my twingo goes to 56 km/h dying (lol) on the fuckin first march!

Here some image:

Here a video of me "driving" i had a lot of them but i've lost everyone!






FIRST ACCIDENT
The day after taking my driving license i decided to go to school with Kevo using mah fuckin twingo.
We were at half way when i tried to pass a truck who transported oil  entering a roundbout.
Obviously i ended un under the truck i was rlly scared and i think Kevo too was lol.
Truck had only a wheel lil consumed and become green-yellow (like my twingo was), while my car was a bit flattened on the left.
Anyway i was like don't worry i was thinking to change it!

We survived to my first driving day!

SECOND ACCIDENT
I had a good habit when driving into the school courtyard, it was to enter the gate at about 40-60 km/h well doing that one day i took a guy who was walking in the middle of the school courtyard but the funny thing was that i dodged a janitor first to take him.
Anyway he dodget for a nap the car by tapping on the hood.
He apologized i was like LOL and Kevo too.

THIRD ACCIDENT
I took Kevo and we were going to the mall when exiting from kevo's home street i cut a stop taking a car and the funny thing was that kevo saw the car and told me only "careful" but was too late.
He asked me some cash for the reparations and then he become my banker lol.

FOURTH ACCIDENT
Like always i was driving to mah school at my common speed (80-100km/h) on a 40kms street when a fuckin moped came out from a stop and decided to go slowly well i tried to slow down but i failed a lot i hit  and threw him with his moped.
I was angry but i lolled a lot looking him attempting to fly xD
2,000 euros to him....i stopped to lol

FIFTH ACCIDENT
I've poor eyesight at nights so that could explain a little the next accident.
I was with mah sista on board we were going to home after shopping at mall when i decided to overtake a queue.
It was easy to do if only that there was a fuckin new Mercedes Class A fuckin brillant black obviously i didn't see that and scratched at my normal speed the entire left side.
Lol i tried to run away i was doing it when i saw that the car was following me so i tried to drive like a madman inside the traffic when i saw a fuckin velox.... i slowed and she took me....i gave up and stopped the car....she came out screaming like the hell telling me "if i was pregnat i could lost the baby for the fear" i was like "shut up bitch ...u took me..."
I paid a lot and i don't wont to remember how much!

FIRST FORFAIT
I was going to my ex home to fuck her and i was late when after a crossroad i've a police car in front of me...They was going at 40km/h and i was angry as every fuckin day.
I don't remember who the hell was but a "supposed to be a friend" told me that a drive can pass police car couse only municipals do forfait.
As a dumb i did it clacksoning them i was like "lol look at the idiots scared behind the police car"....
The policeman turn on the siren and make me stop.... i tried to explain them that i'm in late and i wanted to fuck and he told me " if u were in Calabria we would have beaten you" i was like "lol southerners if we were in calabria i wouldn't stop" anyway they decided to make me a common forefait for overtaking on solid line and took 6 of my fuckin points anyway i was like "tsk i've 14 more".
angry i went to my ex she was angry for the delay and we didn't fucked......What's the fuckin deal ?

SIXTH ACCIDENT
Well that's not rlly an accident anyway i was going in Puglia with my ex.We had to do ~700kms , while she was awake she wanted me to go slow but when she fall asleep eheheh i think i set a world record lol in the highway to go to Puglia there are downhill slopes exceed 15% i arrived to 180kms marked on the digital speedometer i was like "FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU YEAHHHHHHHHHHHHHH" i burned the engine.
My ex woke up and saw the smoke coming out from the hood and said:"we may have punctured a wheel".
With bloody eyes i watched at her and told her "WTF ARE U SAYING ARE U IDIOT OR WHAT? SHUT THE FUCK UP!".
I was sad my fuckin twingo was gone T.T it was so good that with an hole of 10 cm diameter on the engine i would still able to start it and to do 10m T.T so my father bought me a new engine for it! I was like FU YEAH!
That was a fuckin normal engine.... no more 56km/h on first march T.T

SEVENTH ACCIDENT
Just two months later me , Kevo and another decided to go out the night to drink something and find some pussy to empty our morons.
That evening it rained , we was going to a pub and no1 had been drinking.
I was on a bridge showing my Ace Ventura guide , i was like my head out from the window going zig-zag style at 50-60 km/h with wet road.
Half way on the bridge there's a 90° bend i slowed down to much late and i went straight on the guard-rail destroying mah fuckin twingo!
Lol only the third passenger was hurt and he was on the back seats!
That was the last time i drove my twingo.


MY SISTER'S CAR

I was carless so my sister gave me her car car to go to work it's a fuckin shit it's a Citroen C3 Pluriel.
Here a photo:


EIGHT ACCIDENT
I was driving mah sista's car coming back from work i was near to mah home when a moped pass me and stand in front of me.
After 200m there was 3 girls walking on the street they was pretty i saw them and the 2 guys on the moped saw them too.
They slow down and move near the girls i was angry as always and i had not much time to waste couse i had to go to my ex after a shower so i claksoned em they accelerate and tried to make a "cool parking" nailing and sliding the rear wheel.
Well i accelerate too but i saw them nailing too many late i heavily took them the moped "slipped" into the engine while the guys crashed against my windscreen shattering it.
I was like "lol hi" to those guys on mah car.
My sister wanted to kill me couse the car was new (bought 1 month before) , the passenger of the moped runed away while the driver went to the hospital.
Mah insurance gave him 10k euros... and i gave 3k to mah sista.
He hasn't given to me her car for almost 2 years....

Well that's the part 1 of my unlucky career like driver and we're just at 6 months lather from when i took my driving license.
Early the second part with much more accidents. 

34 commenti:

  1. i dont know whether to laugh at you or cry for you...

    RispondiElimina
  2. ^ lmao!

    too many accident dude. fortunately for me, i haven't had an accident yet.

    RispondiElimina
  3. you my friend, are a great driver.

    RispondiElimina
  4. maybe u should stop driving :p

    RispondiElimina
  5. if this was my country, you would not have a license anymore

    RispondiElimina
  6. Sounds like one of my cousins. Except he destroyed 3 cars in 3 accidents, he no longer has his license last I heard.

    RispondiElimina
  7. good follow up post to yesterday's

    RispondiElimina
  8. hahahaha. awesome post! That video was funny. I was waiting for you to drive right on in that door.

    This makes me a bigger fan of you. You get an A for Awesome!

    RispondiElimina
  9. hmm , you should drive a tank lol , or turn a car into a tank with that russian company O.o

    RispondiElimina
  10. HAHA wow. Holy crap man. That is terrible.

    RispondiElimina
  11. This is actually funny xD

    good post, thanks for visiting me <3

    RispondiElimina
  12. Cool post! You should check out my blog on how to make easy money with the internet.

    RispondiElimina
  13. just read it all.. oh jesus xD

    RispondiElimina
  14. hehe, nice one for the first car. i had a old ford fiesta. :P

    RispondiElimina
  15. why are those two guys sexing on the side of a caravan

    RispondiElimina
  16. couse the guy attacked to the lineup was me.

    RispondiElimina